Introduction

The Enneagram Institute is an organization that provides information on the Enneagram personality typing system. One of the key aspects of this system is understanding how different types interact with each other. In this blog post, we’ll explore some common relationships between Enneagram types and discuss their dynamics.

The Relationship Between Type 1s and Type 2s

Type 1s are perfectionists who value order and control. They can be quite critical of themselves and others, which can lead to feelings of guilt and shame. Type 2s, on the other hand, are selfless individuals who put others before themselves. They often have a deep sense of empathy for those around them.

When these two types get together, it’s not uncommon for the Type 1 to try to control or manage the Type 2. The Type 1 may feel that they can help the Type 2 by providing guidance and direction. However, this approach can be quite condescending and even insulting to the Type 2.

Practical Example: Sarah, a Type 1, and John, a Type 2, were friends from childhood. As they grew older, Sarah would often offer advice on how John could improve himself. While John appreciated her concern, he felt like she was trying to control him. This led to feelings of resentment towards Sarah.

The Relationship Between Type 3s and Type 8s

Type 3s are driven individuals who value success and achievement. They can be quite competitive and may feel threatened if they’re not the best at something. Type 8s, on the other hand, are assertive individuals who value independence and freedom.

When these two types get together, it’s not uncommon for the Type 3 to try to outdo the Type 8 in some way. The Type 3 may feel like they need to prove themselves in order to gain respect from the Type 8.

Practical Example: Emily, a Type 3, and Michael, an 8, were colleagues at work. Emily was always trying to one-up Michael by completing tasks faster or better than him. Michael, on the other hand, would often challenge Emily’s accomplishments in order to keep her from getting too full of herself.

The Relationship Between Type 4s and Type 9s

Type 4s are creative individuals who value individuality and uniqueness. They can be quite moody and may feel like they’re not being understood by others. Type 9s, on the other hand, are peaceful individuals who value harmony and stability.

When these two types get together, it’s not uncommon for the Type 4 to try to connect with the Type 9 on a deeper level. The Type 4 may feel like they need someone to understand them and their creative vision.

Practical Example: Rachel, a Type 4, and Chris, a Type 9, were friends who shared a love of art. Rachel would often talk about her latest projects with Chris, hoping that he would offer some insight or encouragement. While Chris was happy to listen, he rarely offered any real feedback or suggestions.

Conclusion

Understanding the relationships between Enneagram types can be incredibly helpful in both personal and professional settings. By recognizing how different types interact with each other, we can better navigate our own relationships and avoid common pitfalls.

Practical Tips:

  • Be aware of your own biases and tendencies when interacting with others.
  • Listen actively and try to understand the perspectives of those around you.
  • Avoid trying to control or manipulate others in order to get what you want.
  • Practice empathy and compassion towards others, even if they don’t always agree with you.

By following these tips, we can build stronger, more meaningful relationships that are based on mutual respect and understanding.